Several of you keep asking if it’s ok for fans to share stories they themselves have written within the universe of DELTA HEDGE. For the last time, I really wish you wouldn’t.
154 thoughts on “Fan Fiction – It’s almost always terrible.”
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I step away from the register as the hot coffee sears my palm through the thin carboard cup. Goddamn espresso machine was broken again. This won’t do. I ask the barista to double-cup it, and he concedes with a roll of his bright, stupid eyes.
There’s my target. About sixty, white, thin frame and thinner hair. I step in front of him.
“Jerry McCoy?”, he goes.
“Who’s asking”, I go. This is wrong. Backwards.
He doesn’t answer my question. He only looks down at my cup of coffee.
“You know you’d be better off pouring that on your asshole?” He goes. “Yeah, you get an instant caffeine buzz if you do that.”
I take a step back.
“Same with wine,” He goes. “Dribble a little wine there, you get instantly drunk.”
“Go tell the manager,” I say. “Sounds like they’re missing a real opportunity.”
Are you stupid? He literally said NO FAN FICTION.
You think you’re his moderator or something? You’re just jealous. It’s good writing. Better than his.
Dear Josh,
Tammy suggested that I should read some of your novels. I was so excited and proud.
Now, I see that the subjects of your books deal with the rectal insertion of coffee and wine! Good heavens, where in the world would anyone even dream of doing that? I am so disturbed and upset. I don’t know what I will tell the girls in the book club.
You need to be careful and fight these types of proclivities. Remember what happened to cousin Marty. I know Tammy says love is love (blah, blah, blah), but please be careful. That orifice just should not be used for that purpose. There, I said it and I’m not sorry!
Sincerely,
Aunt Bev
Hello Beverly. Please try to remember what the police and your family explained. Your nephew Josh Dixon is about twenty years younger than me and in no way related. You’re confused again. Probably stay off the internet.
Also…these are unauthorized fan fiction stories. My books don’t have anyone putting wine or coffee anywhere bad. It’s fan fiction, and I’m trying to stop it. But there are only so many hours in the day.
Please stay off the internet, Beverly.
@delmarbyers @zooeyflooth Look at this…his family LOVES my story!
@shantastic You trippin. This is some hack bullshit. The hell you even on about, dribbling coffee on butts – knock it off.
@DelmarByers I’d like to see you do better. I’ll wait, bitch.
-blessings
@DelmarByers As I thought – you have nothing.
-Namaste
Dear Josh,
Tammy just left the house about an hour ago. I can barely stop crying. The things she said to me, Josh, no mother should ever have to hear. She said that everyone on the internet had read my note to you. People need to mind their own business. That’s what’s wrong with this country, no privacy and everyone sticking their noses into other people’s business!
She said I owe you an apology. I am sorry for what I said if it offended you even though I am not sure why. If your beautiful wife wants to pour coffee into your rectum and you want to tell stories about it, who am I to judge? Just make sure the coffee isn’t too hot, dear boy! Ha ha, ha ha, I know that you will be careful. You know, just because I am old, do not for one minute think that I am an old-stick-in-the mud. Uncle Hank and I were quite adventurous back in the day. I could stories but that would be unseemly. Not that it is wrong for you to do so, but that is just not the way I was raised.
Tammy says that I need to apologize to Lauren and to “Ash” or my own granddaughter will never speak to me again. I can swallow my pride and apologize to Lauren, but really, Ashley? What does she have to do with the price of tea in China? It makes me hopping mad that I am the one to have to apologize, and really, for what? For telling it like it is, that is what! Me, who has never had an unkind word to say about another person and has given everything to everyone. That Ashley really gets under my skin. Maybe if she grew her hair out, dropped a few pounds, and put on some make-up she would not be single at age thirty-seven!
Oh I am starting to cry again. I will finish this up later.
With much love,
Aunt Bev
X0X0X0X0X0X0X0
Let’s not involve the authorities again Beverly. I do have Tammy’s phone number and email from your incident last year. I’m going to ask her to visit you, because you need some help. Again…I’m not your nephew Josh Dixon. Different guy. Please stay off my site, and avoid the internet altogether.
Dah f’s this shit?
@ShannaMargolis I actually think your fan fiction is pretty good. It would be interesting to read DELTA HEDGE in first-person perspective. Will you share more?
@zooeyfloooth You gotta be kidding me right? “Pretty good”? Shanna’s piece of so-called writing doesn’t make no sense. Two dudes in a cafe talking about coffee and booze up their tailpipes doesn’t make no sense. Is everyone nuts on this site?
For your information @delmarbyers, coffee enemas are well-established in eastern medicine. Learn and grow. And I’m still waiting for you to write something better, if you can, which you can’t.
@ShannaMargolis you spooky bat, gtfoh. I’m a f’n pharmacist. Not tryna hear about medicine from you, wine-#ss. Please. And no, I ain’t gonna post my fan fiction here. He said not to. Thought you knew how to read.
@delmarbyers All’s I said is a liked it. Don’t be so mean. Also, I’d love to read your fan fiction.
Both y’alls dum!!!!!!!!! The man said NO FAN FICTION. Too bad, cos my sh1t’s highbrow, low-adverb, and tight AF. Not posting it here though. And don’t encourage that crazy bat. Moderator needs to check her #ss!
….
He sniffed a laugh, spun, walked out. If he said “walk with me”, I sure didn’t hear it. I took a sip of the hot, weak, not-espresso drivel and followed a moment later. I found him leaning against the gothic wall outside.
“How far are you willing to take matters?” He goes, out of nowhere.
I didn’t even pretend to understand. I gave him half a shrug, which is more of a response than he’d earned.
“What are the accusations?” I go.
“Same old story,” He goes. “Major coffee chain infects their drinks with nano-bots in order to force neuro-links on the public. Well, not on my watch, buster.”
“Oh right,” I go. “That old chestnut.”
Girl, Yaaaas! More please!
@ShannaMargolis I still say U damn-well shouldn’t be posting this here because the man said not to. But what is neuo-link?
All – is this thread about CANON?
Read the room you f’in idiot!!
Dumbass, it’s right there in the original post title – Delta Hedge. Read much? Fuck.
Yeahhh, you completely useless moron. You neck-less giraffe. It’s about “Canon”. That’s why the thread title says “Delta Hedge”. Because it’s really about “CAAANNNOOON”. You f’ing buffoon. Walk east until your hat floats.
– Namaste
Fuckin dick.
@delmabyers Neuro-link is you can move a computer with your brain.
Dah f…?
@VernonFunk Never heard of Elon Musk? Human to machine interface.
I love this story!
Wow
@shannamargolis I looked up that neuro-link stuff and that shit is dope. You gotta take out that wack amphigory with the coffee and wine enemas. And the story shouldn’t be on the man’s website, but that neuro-link idea bangs.
Clearly I broke some “unwritten rule” with my last question. Fine, this is where Delta Hedge fan-fiction goes. I get it. Where does Canon fan-fiction goes?
Jesus you empty tool-box…I can’t even.
Good piss, if you ever catch the clue train I hope it’s by lying on the tracks.
-Be the change
Bro, fvck outta here.
@delmarbyers pony up your own writing, and we’ll see if you’re qualified to give me pointers. #coffeeenema #blessings
Newsflash, you hippie cow. I ain’t seven years old. Your granola ass ain’t gonna trick me into breaking the man’s rules.
You guys are kind of mean in the comments aren’t you?
They’re mean as snakes.
I shifted my weight, trying to get a read on him. Jerry McCoy, corporate spy, once again roped into the bizarre conspiracies that seemed to breed in this city like rats in a sewer. This one, though, had the scent of something. Something smelly.
“How do you know?” I ask.
He pulled out a small device, no bigger than a smartphone but bristling with antennae and blinking lights. “This baby picks up nano-signals. They’re everywhere, man. In your latte, in your brain. We’re all just puppets to the big coffee machine.”
He held it toward me and the lights danced. I side-stepped. “Get that thing away from me.”
His eyes looked wild. “I’ve seen them. People glitching out, doing things they don’t remember. It’s the neuro-link. They’re taking over. Don’t worry. You seem clean. For now. ”
I wanted to walk away, to laugh it off, but there was something in his eyes, something that made my skin crawl. “Alright,” I said slowly. “What’s the plan?”
He grinned and ran his fingers through his silvery wisps of hair. “We go undercover. We infiltrate their headquarters, get the proof we need, and blow this thing wide open.”
I sighed. Dumped my coffee.
“No good?” He goes.
“Weak,” I go.
“I already gave you the solution to that problem,” He goes.
After a moment, I reply. “Fine, you’ve convinced me.”
“Yeah,” He goes.
“For sure.” I start to walk east.
“The hell you going, Jerry McCoy?”
“To find a bucket of espresso and an air compressor. Gonna be a long night.”
@shannamargolis slay, queen! This story bangs! #ladybossfanfic
@shannamargolis You just don’t listen or learn. Moderator gonna ban you if you keep posting fan fiction. What’s your deal???
…
“The hell you going, Jerry McCoy?”
“To find a bucket of espresso and an air compressor. Gonna be a long night.”
I turned to catch him staring at me, his eyes narrowing. Was I serious? I could see him weighing my words, the absurdity of the image battling with his need for me to be on the same page. We had to be on the same page, he was thinking. As though his life depended on it.
We made our way through the labyrinthine streets, the neon lights of the city casting eerie shadows. As we approached the towering glass structure of the Tiekohl-butte coffee conglomerate’s headquarters, I again turned to face him. He was smiling way to much.
He gestured toward the service entrance. “We go in quiet, disable their security system, and get to the lab. The proof we need is in there.”
“Quiet, huh?” I muttered, eyeing the high-tech cameras swiveling above the entrance.
“Got it covered.” He flashed a device that looked like a garage door opener. “This jammer will keep us off their radar for ten minutes. Move fast.”
“I don’t know about this.”
We slipped inside, the halls eerily silent. I felt the weight of the situation pressing down on me.
He started talking. Way too loud.
“This isn’t just about exposing a conspiracy,” he goes. “It’s about saving minds, Jerry McCoy. Maybe lives even! The truth is just behind those doors.”
“SHHHH!”
He glanced at me, his earlier skepticism replaced with determination. I knew he was committed to this, ridiculous or not. And for now, that was enough to keep me moving forward.
@ShannaMargolis Soooo good! I am hooked! You go! #NYTbestSellingFanFiction
No. Just, no. I looked up neuro-link some more, and that sh1t is dope fo sho. But this is pure hack bs writing. And the man said NO FAN FICTION! The hell’s wrong with you people.
You know how to make it stop. Tell you what “bigdeeee”, you post one page of your fan fiction, just one, and I’ll stop.
He won’t. #chickenshit
You two are stupid.
@ShannaMargolis…wait…the coffee shop conglomerate in your story is called TickleButt coffee? #LMFOA
I mean, it’s “Tiekohl-butte”….but yeah #tee-hee-hee
@ShannaMargolis @ZooeyFlooth that’s crazy. The short collection I publish is straight up titled “Ticklebutt”. Not even kidding
For real?
100%.
Ok bigdeeee. No kidding around, you have to share just one or two pages.
Delmar just share a page – come on. That’s crazy that you both used “Ticklebutt”. “Tiekohl-Butte” lol
Fine. A couple pages of my book “Tickle-Butt”. This one is called “Sir Fravoli Foo”.
This one’s lol
@delmarbyers what the actual fuck.
Here’s one of my favorite pages. hahaha lookit his feet.
Ummmm?
@delmarbyers What the hell are these pages? This is not fan fiction.
Never said it was fan-fiction.
It isn’t fiction at all. What the hell even is this? Are you making fun of my writing??
#BeTheChange
You two r dum. It’s romance novel covers. Not complicated. They’re funny. They make me laugh.
@delmarbyers Your stuff is not fiction. It isn’t even writing.
Oh hahahahaa. I understands now…this is funny @DelmarByers
Lol this one’s his name is Stetson Von POOP hahahahhaha
Hey all – Delmar Byers’ stuff looks unorthodox, but they’re pretty funny if you read them in the right order. So…did you guys like ask the moderator where to post Delta Hedge fan fiction, or how did you know to put it here? I have some CANON ideas for fan fiction.
I already said this is funny you rotten twat.
Ooh – glad you’re back Vernon! I was meaning to take a few minutes out of my productive day and spoon-feed you obvious solutions to obvious questions. 1) Read the comment from Josh Dickson at the top of this thread. 2) have someone read it to you since you’re so stupid 3) take a bath with a car battery
#BeLight
This fuckin guy
“Right,” He goes, fingers flying over the device. “We gotta hush.”
I kept scanning the area. It was too quiet. Something felt off, but I couldn’t place it. Finally, the door clicked open, and we slipped inside. Cold, sterile air smelled chilly and musty and frosty.
There lay a corridor lit by harsh fluorescent lights. His nano-signal detector began to hum and blink. He waved it around, muttering under his breath.
“Which way?” I go.
“This way. The signal’s stronger there.”
We moved quickly and quietly, our footsteps echoing off the linoleum floor. Each door we passed had a small window, revealing dark, empty offices. Finally, we reached a door marked “Research & Development.”
“Here,” he goes, his voice barely a whisper.
He pulled out a set of lockpicks, and I watched as he worked the lock. The door clicked open, and we slipped inside, closing it softly behind us. The room was filled with high-tech equipment, computers humming quietly, and shelves lined with files and binders.
He moves to one of the computers, connecting his device. “This will take a minute.”
I nodded, moving to the shelves and scanning the labels. Neuro-interface, cognitive enhancement, nano-technology. Big labels with block letters.
“Got it,” he goes, pulling a flash drive from the computer. “Let’s go.”
We moved quickly, but as we reached the door, a noise froze us in our tracks. Footsteps.
My mind raced, searching for an escape route.
.
Oh there’s an Ostrich in the pond with them lol! Too funny!
.’
Why is this one even supposed to be funny? It just says “no no no”
#namaste
Cos lookit they faces.
@delmarbyers you’ve won me over. Your romance novel covers are hilarious.
#BeLikeWater
@delmarbyers Yeah, you’re really funny. Your stuff is clever and funny.
#SexyYogaBitch
Cheeez…thirsty, queen?
We freeze as the sound of footsteps echoes through the hallway. My heart races, but I remind myself to breathe deeply, to stay centered. “Stay calm,” I whisper, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “We need to stay in harmony with the energy around us.”
He nods, though his eyes are wide with panic. I sense his fear, but I also feel a strength within him, a resilience that is just waiting to be tapped into. Together, we can face whatever comes our way.
Cosy!
The footsteps grow louder, and we know we have to move. “This way,” I whisper, guiding him toward a narrow passage hidden behind a row of tall, humming servers. The blue glow of the machines casts eerie shadows on the walls, creating a surreal, almost otherworldly atmosphere.
As we slip into the passage, I feel the vibrations of the servers resonating through my body. It’s as if the machines themselves are alive, part of the intricate web of existence that connects us all. I glance at my transient companion, who is doing his best to stay calm, and give him a reassuring smile.
He farts quietly.
The passage leads us to a small, dimly lit room that seems to be used for storage. Boxes are stacked haphazardly against the walls, and dust covers everything in a thin layer. I close the door quietly behind us and lean against it, letting out a breath I didn’t realize I’ve been holding.
He looks at me, his eyes searching mine. “What now?” he whispers. Farts again.
“Dude,” I go.
He shrugs and goes “We gotta run for it”.
“Not yet,” I go.
His eyes are wild and panicky. He drops his blinkish device and stumbles to retrieve it.
“Pull yourself together, man.” I go. “We stay. We listen. And when the time is right, we move.”
He nods, trusting me, and I feel a surge of warmth. There’s something about being in this together, facing the unknown side by side, that makes everything feel more bearable. More connected.
As we stand there, I can’t help but feel a strange sense of excitement. This isn’t just about uncovering a conspiracy anymore. It’s about the journey, the connections we’re making, and the possibility of something greater. Maybe, just maybe, we’re meant to be here, in this moment, together.
The footsteps grow fainter, and I know it’s time. “Ready?” I whisper.
He nods, his expression determined. Again he farts. A somber, drop-note of a petard.
We slip out of the room and continue our journey, each step a testament to our courage and our bond. And as we move through the labyrinth of the coffee headquarters, I can’t shake the feeling that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. That the universe has brought us together for a reason.
Oh my gawwdd! I have no idea what’s coming next.
Me knows!
That’s exactly how I imagine them!! Where do you live?
#LiveLaughLove
You guys’s is so cuuute! More! What happening next?
There’s the door. Just 50 feet straight ahead. But then a door parts at the midpoint, and we stop cold.
“Act natural.” I go.
He farts real, real loud.
“Not that natural,” I go.
To my astonishment, the door closes shut without anyone emerging.
“Run!” I go.
And he doesn’t move his legs fast enough, so I pull him to heel and then push him. I bulldoze him through to the exterior door and throw it open and we both tumble into the tumbly night air. An alarm sounds. He farts above the alarm.
“Dude,” I go. “What’s your deal?”
He smiles and shrugs.
“Come on,” I go. “We won’t get that lucky again.”
“We got what we need!” He cows, with wild eyes.
Then the door opens behind us, and three men wearing black kevlar and brandishing long sticks emerge.
My companion farts a whimper.
“You can say that again,” I go.
@delmarbyers check your DMs.
Not sure about that @shannamargolis. The fart jokes are a bit much.
But I will say this….
Oh HELL yes.
#ShinyHappyEveryone
Dear Josh,
I hate to admit it, but my eyesight is just not what it used to be. By chance, are your books available in an audible edition? I prefer eight track since that is what the Thunderbird has, but if they are only available on cassette tape, I could just the cassette player on my lap as I drive.
Love,
Aunt Bev
Beverly, you’re not supposed to drive. Remember what the police and Tammy explained? And remember..I’m not your nephew. He lives in a different state and his name is DIXON. This is going south. I’ve let Detective Bortch know you’ve violated your order. It’s out of my hands.
But also, Amazon Audible versions are coming soon.
@DelmarByers looks like you’re doing artwork for @ShannaMargolis fan fiction now!
Oh thank fuck you’re back to explain what any retard would understand. Pretend air is food and then FAST for a week.
#InclusionStartsWithYOU
The hell is your deals you abject goddamn moron???
You complete DICK. Leave.
We dash into the darkness, the sound of our footsteps drowned out by the pounding of our hearts and the blaring alarm. The men in Kevlar are right on our tails, their long sticks catching the moonlight with an eerie glint.
I pull him harder, trying to navigate through the maze of alleyways. “This way,” I whisper, yanking him left into a narrow passage between two buildings.
He stumbles but keeps pace, his breath coming in short, panicked gasps. “What now, Jerry?”
I don’t answer. Instead, I focus on the path ahead, scanning for any possible escape routes. We burst out into a dimly lit street, and I spot an old, rusted fire escape ladder. “Up there!” I point.
He looks at the ladder, then at me, and I see the doubt in his eyes. “Are you serious?”
“Move!” I snap, pushing him toward the ladder. He starts to climb, and I follow close behind, the metal rungs cold and slippery under my hands.
And he farts.
“C’mon, man.”
He stops and looks down at my from four rungs up. “It didn’t pick up any hitchhiker!”
“Just climb,” I go.
As we scramble up, I hear the clatter of boots behind us. One of the men shouts, “There they are!”
We reach the rooftop and duck behind an air conditioning unit, panting and trying to catch our breath. My companion looks at me with wide eyes, his face pale under the moonlight. “What now, Jerry?”
I peek over the edge of the unit, watching as the men in Kevlar search the alley below. “We wait,” I say. “Let them think we vanished. Then we find a way out.”
He nods, and for a moment, we sit in silence, the cool night air filling our lungs. The adrenaline begins to fade, replaced by a sense of grim determination. We’re not out of this yet, but we’ve got a fighting chance.
“Jerry McCoy”, he whispers. “Thanks for not leaving me behind.”
I smirk. “Don’t get sappy on me now. We’ve still got a mission to finish.”
#pullitzer
Solid.
**********REDACTED BY MODERATOR***************
your post is in violation of joshdicksonbooks.com policy
– No FAN FICTION allowed
– No vulgar images
– No phishing or spam
– No hectoring of other fans
**********REDACTED BY MODERATOR***************
SECOND VIOLATION.
your post is in violation of joshdicksonbooks.com policy
– No FAN FICTION allowed
– No vulgar images
– No phishing or spam
– No hectoring of other fans
Whats goings on? Your postings blocked?
Totes. The plot is taking a mindful arc, but it keeps getting taken down now??
Shoot, girl. I dont wanna say I told ya so, especially now. But the moderator gotcha!!!
Anyone else getting their comments blocked by this “moderator”?
If your comments violate site policy, they will be removed. If this persists, you will be banned from the boards.
But I want to be reading for seeing how the story gonna end! How can I reads if you block???
@zooeyflooth Fan Fiction is forbidden on this site.
@SITEMODERATOR But I wants to reads the end!!! Why so mean??
@zooeyflooth Not my problem. You will follow the rules of this site or you’ll be removed. It’s that simple.
**********REDACTED BY MODERATOR***************
your post is in violation of joshdicksonbooks.com policy
– No FAN FICTION allowed
– No vulgar images
– No phishing or spam
– No hectoring of other fans
**********REDACTED BY MODERATOR***************
SECOND VIOLATION
your post is in violation of joshdicksonbooks.com policy
– No FAN FICTION allowed
– No vulgar images
– No phishing or spam
– No hectoring of other fans
**********REDACTED BY MODERATOR***************
THIRD VIOLATION
your post is in violation of joshdicksonbooks.com policy
– No FAN FICTION allowed
– No vulgar images
– No phishing or spam
– No hectoring of other fans
@delmarbyers – careful. Zooey got a bit salty with the moderator and is now banned from the site.
Whashe say?
Seemed like she was pretty fired up. This moderator is for real.
#DownwardDog
@shannamargolis @delmarbyers I’m for real alright. New sheriff in town!
Ok, Moderator, do you have a name?
#CoffeeEnemaAlliance
Yeah, bruv. Are you the author or what? You Dickson??
I am NOT Josh Dickson. But you know me.
Prove it. Reveal yourself, Moderator.
#YogiBear
My name? I’m your worst nightmare.
Oh SNAP! This ain’t gud!
Holy SHIT!!
#Blessings
@shannamargolis Watch that language. One more strike, and you’re out! And you know I’ll do it. Ask Zooey.
Good news peoples! Ban was only temporaries. I am allowed back.
Oh shits! Vernon Funk is the moderator??
**********REDACTED BY MODERATOR***************
FINAL VIOLATION
your post is in violation of joshdicksonbooks.com policy
Your account has been banned indefinitely
– No FAN FICTION allowed
– No vulgar images
– No phishing or spam
– No hectoring of other fans
Slow learner. Maybe the rest of you will learn faster.
@zooeyflooth I’m allowing you back in on a condition. Everyone…let’s see the end of the coffee nanobot story, and then we’re going to do my CANON fan fiction.
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важно учитывать острые края или скользкие поверхности.
Для предотвращения несчастных случаев стоит выбирать конструкции с закругленными углами.
Применение подставок или ковров
может значительно улучшить сцены на каменных
или деревянных полах, обеспечивая
тем самым дополнительный комфорт даже в дождливую погоду.
Материалы и их устойчивость к воздействию низких температур
и влаги
При выборе компонентов конструкции для открытых пространств важно учитывать их свойства в различных
климатических условиях. Дерево –
популярный выбор, однако некоторые виды обладают большей стойкостью.
Например, тековое дерево и ироко демонстрируют высокую устойчивость к гниению и минимальным
температурным колебаниям.
Металлы, такие как алюминий, подходят благодаря антикоррозийному покрытию.
Они не поддаются негативному воздействию влаги и низких температур, что делает их долговечными и безопасными.
Оцинкованная сталь также применяется, но требует дополнительной защиты, чтобы предотвратить ржавление.
Пластик, в частности полиуретан, легко переносит
резкий температурный перепад. Этот материал обладает устойчивостью к UV-лучам и не подвержен деформации под воздействием влаги.
Использование переработанного
пластика и композитных материалов
позволяет улучшить прочность и внешний вид.
Ткани с водоотталкивающими
свойствами, такие как акрил или нейлон, используются в
обивке. Эти волокна сохраняют свои физические качества даже при воздействии влаги.
Стоит обратить внимание на системы сушки и укрытия, чтобы
продлить срок службы обивки в неблагоприятных
условиях.
Дизайн и функциональные особенности предметов наружного использования в экстремальных
условиях
При создании продукции для открытых пространств в сложных климатических условиях
акцент следует делать на материалы с высокой устойчивостью к перепадам температур и
воздействию влаги. Подходящие варианты включают алюминий,
нержавеющую сталь и специальные
композитные пластиковые материалы.
Эти компоненты должным образом противостоят
коррозии и деформации, обеспечивая долговечность.
Эстетика изделий сосредотачивается на простых, но выразительных формах.
Элементы с гладкими линиями и нейтральными цветами
легко вписываются в различные стилистические решения.
Текстиль, владеющий грязеотталкивающими и водоотталкивающими свойствами, позволяет поддерживать внешний вид на протяжении долгого времени.
Функциональность включает в себя модульные конструкции, которые
можно легко переставлять и адаптировать
в зависимости от потребностей. Некоторые модели оснащены встроенными системами хранения, что упрощает
уход за пространством и поддержание порядка.
Учитывая наличие сильных ветров и осадков, предпочтение следует отдать изделиям с повышенной устойчивостью.
Наличие тяжёлых оснований или системы крепления предотвращает случайное движение мебели.
Многослойные конструкции подушек, обеспечивают комфорт, не теряя форму
даже после длительного использования.
Наличие подстилок из утеплённых материалов способно гарантировать комфорт при низких температурах.
Выбор текстиля с UV-защитой продлевает срок службы внешнего покрытия и сохраняет яркость цветов в
солнечную погоду.
Заключительно, разумное сочетание дизайна и функций
создаёт основы для долговечного и практичного использования предметов
на открытых площадках в условиях, требующих особого внимания.
Инвестиции в качественные компоненты оправдывают себя за счет комфорта и эстетики,
способствуя созданию уникального пространства для отдыха.
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Мебель для террасы – как защитить от погодных условий
Современные проявления погоды могут оказать разрушительное воздействие на уличные комплекты для отдыха.
Дождь, солнечные лучи и сильный ветер могут привести к быстрому износу и порче.
Не все материалы способны выдерживать такие испытания, и именно поэтому важно задуматься о
правильной защите.
Правильный выбор состава материалов имеет первостепенное значение.
Например, изделия из тика обладают естественной устойчивостью к влаге, в то время как изделия из алюминия
не подвержены коррозии. Выбор текстиля также влияет на долговечность; пропитанные водоотталкивающими средствами ткани способны прослужить долгие годы, даже под воздействием непогоды.
Дополнительные меры предосторожности включают использование чехлов и
специальных накладок. Эти аксессуары не только защищают от осадков, но и предотвращают выгорание под
воздействием ультрафиолетовых лучей.
Правильное укрытие и хранение в условиях плохой
погоды позволят значительно продлить
срок службы, а также сохранить первоначальный вид уличной обстановки.
Выбор материалов для уличной мебели, устойчивых к погодным условиям
При подборе компонентов для
уличных предметов обстановки необходимо учитывать их прочность и долговечность.
Металлические конструкции, такие как
алюминий, показывают отличные результаты
благодаря своей устойчивости к коррозии и воздействию
ультрафиолетовых лучей. Они не требуют сложного ухода и сохраняют
привлекательный вид на протяжении
многих лет.
Дерево, хотя и требующее периодической обработки защитными средствами, может
стать прекрасным вариантом. Породы, такие как тиковое или рабновое дерево, отличаются природной маслянистостью, что
защищает их от влаги и насекомых.
Регулярная обработка маслами поможет продлить их срок службы.
Пластик и композиты также являются популярными выборами, так как они легкие и неприхотливые.
Наличие переработанных материалов в составе таких изделий может стать дополнительным плюсом, так как
это способствует экосознательному подходу к потреблению.
Ткани, используемые в производстве сидений, должны обладать водоотталкивающими и ультрафиолетозащитными свойствами.
Основные нити из акрила или полиэстера обеспечивают
дополнительную защиту от выгорания и загрязнений.
Отдавайте предпочтение тем материалам,
которые были протестированы на устойчивость к перепадам температур, влаге и солнечному свету.
Правильный выбор позволит наслаждаться комфортом и стилем на открытом воздухе на протяжении долгого времени.
Эффективные способы покрытия и хранения мебели в
плохую погоду
Надежная защита конструкции включает в себя
использование специальных чехлов.
Они должны быть из водоотталкивающих тканей,
устойчивых к ультрафиолету.
Полупрозрачные материалы
позволяют воздуху циркулировать, предотвращая накопление влаги.
Разработаны различные модели защитных накрытий: от простых универсальных до индивидуально изготовленных.
Выбор зависит от размеров и форм объекта, а также
от предполагаемых условий эксплуатации.
Специализированные конструкции могут доходить
до пола, чтобы максимально защищать от ветра и осадков.
При сильном дожде имеет смысл рассмотреть возможность
использования накрытий с вентиляционными отверстиями.
Они позволяют избежать накопления конденсата, что способствует
долговечности. Однако защита недостаточно эффективна без предварительной обработки поверхности специальными гидрофобными средствами.
Хранение за пределами воздействия стресса – еще один
метод. Когда предсказываются сильные
осадки, можно перенести конструкции в
помещение на период ухудшения погоды.
Это решение позволяет не только
избежать повреждений, но и сохранить эстетические качества.
Помещения должны быть сухими и хорошо
проветриваемыми.
Избегайте размещения мебели
под деревьями или другими конструкциями,
где возможно накопление снега или ненужной влаги.
Если без этого не обойтись, инвестируйте
в прочные подставки, чтобы предотвратить контакт с влажной
поверхностью.
Важно регулярно проверять состояние защитных элементов и менять их при
появлении признаков износа.
В противном случае, любые затраты на сохранение объекта могут оказаться
напрасными.
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